You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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