i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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