At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
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Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
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After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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