Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize