who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Ladies don't puke and tell
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize