Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Mom said you looked used
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Floor bacon is actually really good
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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