I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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