I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
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Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
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Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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