So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
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I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
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My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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