you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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