i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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