You smell like a Billy Joel song
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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