I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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