1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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