why didn't you poke me back
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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