No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize