i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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