I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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