I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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