I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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