Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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