i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
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We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
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Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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