bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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