she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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