i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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