i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize