I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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