I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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