Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize