i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
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A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
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Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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