About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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