The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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