dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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