Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize