Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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