I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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