Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
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It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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