I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize