some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize