im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
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