okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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