I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
How external is "for external use only"?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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