You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
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Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
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Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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