The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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