If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
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