I molested 6 butterflies tonight
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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