oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
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Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
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Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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