i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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