I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
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