the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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